I’m a student of many things and for a person of my psychological profile along with being in this business it should come as no surprise human nature tops the list. The human psyche has been a study of mine ever since I read my first human behavior text when I was 12 years old. Ok so I was a precocious child who in 7th grade was reading at an 11th grade level.
Anyway…..
I was speaking to a client the other day and the subject of why someone women choose to be agency woman and others independent. Now I think we all know there are a lot of reasons but this caused me to reflect on my experiences over the years and it lead to some interesting distinctions.
Before I go into my observations let make a couple of things clear:
1) I’m going to speak in generalities, for in any statistical study you always have those who fall above or below the average, mean or aggregate. In such cases you throw out the exceptions to the rule and deal with the largest cluster of results.
2) In order to make my “context” clear I’m going to group women into two groups only.
3) There are exceptions to every rule …. so get over it.
As I stated before there are many reasons and considerations which go into why a woman chooses the Agency or Independent route and I’m not going to hash them over here.
Over the years I have observed this distinction.
As a general rule ignoring the exceptions I have observed independents tend to have the largest percentage of “extroverted” and “externally” validated individuals. Whereas agency women seem to have the largest percentage of “introverted and internally” validated individuals.
Ok.. yea I know many of you are going “huh” ?
So let me break it down for you.
On his subject human beings break down into two motivational groups, those who are internally validated and those who are externally validated.
The simplest way to explain this is a simple question:
“How do you know you’ve done a good job” ?
Internal validated people would have an answer to the effect of “because I would just know“.
Externally “validated” people however would have an answer to the effect of “when someone tells me.” By the way, externally validated people tend to not act without a
consequence be it good or bad. They tend to need outside direction and feedback to stay motivated and to know how well they are doing. When it comes to this business this can be a major vulnerability. There are personality types that end up using “work” to validate themselves. For the provider this emotional trap can be a dangerous one when they begin to associate their sense of “desirability“, “self-worth” and “emotional validation” by the number of calls they get. When this happens and life starts to go generally wrong externally validated people tend to look outside themselves for answers, which in turn adds another layer of vulnerability for the client who is a Master Manipulator. Often you can see this with women who’ve had multiple plastic surgery procedures or can’t resist getting caught up in the latest drama on the escort Message boards. Anything to keep them from looking inward and being accountable.
Internally validated people in this business make their own judgements and tend to go by their own internal standard. This is good and bad in the sense as they can be a bitch to work with. If they perceive you as an idiot forget it, you’ll never have their respect and if you’re an agency owner you’re done. In such cases if the person is a thief or has flexible morality count on them to steal from you or break agency rules when they feel like it. Of course when this happens they put you, clients and the other agency women at risk. Conversely if your value system and theirs are in alignment, your procedures and polices make sense to them; internally validated people can be focused consummate professionals. This is the group which as agency women are more likely to “Master the basics” and master their craft. These are the ones that are least vulnerable to being manipulated by the “average” client. Note I said “average” client, however when it comes to manipulation all humans are vulnerable.
Now I should point out you can have extroverts who are internally validated just as you can have introverts who are externally validated. However my major premise still remains over the years I have noted Agency Girls seem to run on the internally validated side and Independents seem run on the externally validated side.
So does this mean one motivation is superior in this business than an other ?
Nope… like I said these are just my observations made over time.
But as an agency owner it behooves you to understand the nature of not only clients but the very women who entrust their safety and lives to you. It is on this playing field where multitudes fail.
In my view being an agency owner is in a way a sacred trust, for me there is no other way to see it.
But that’s just my value system and I could be completely wrong.
